scratch ii

as susnn requested, the follow-up to scratch (though this doesn't preclude the full-blown story that's in the works); for gen_drabble challenge 18: master/slave
He's a soldier, not a prince, but she doesn't care.


He crooks a mental finger at her, and she obeys without hesitation, even as he half-knew she would.

Helia stands there, expression that of someone who’s been smacked in the face with a fish, and John has one fleeting moment of sympathy for her: Atlantis was hers, longer ago than can be reckoned, to bend and use as she saw fit. But John has spent three years wooing his lady, asking for favors when he could have commanded, telling her stories in the dark. Helia buried her: John woke her, and Sleeping Beauty has no intention of being enchanted again.
Indexing: ,
//asking for favors when he could have commanded, telling her stories in the dark.//

Oooh, so good, and so quickly!

I do like the way you string words together! "Smacked in the face with a fish" gives us a reason for John's "fleeting moment of sympathy" while reminding us that Helia, on screen, was so caught up in her own losses and superiority that she was a bit of a cold fish herself as regards the SGA crew's impending loss of Atlantis. That Helia bent and used as opposed to John's wooing of the city draws a telling comparison between the two characters. In the end, as much as this speaks to John and Helia's competition for the city, it is Atlantis' story, something I never got enough of from the series' writers. Thank you. I am delighted that there will be more.
Oh hurrah, you like it! Which means a lot to me, especially because (can you keep a secret?) I've never actually seen the episode in question. I've read the transcript, and watched a few clips, but never the entire thing. So I was a little nervous as to whether this would ring true.

Apparently it does. :D
*gasps* You've not seen the entirety of canon? Tragic. I have seen the majority of it, but all out of order and such, so I'm pretty sure there are a few episodes somewhere in the middle that I might have missed. But to have not seen that particular episode... this must be remedied. Hmm... Netflix? Christmas Gift? Do people do Easter gifts? *ponders*

Also, these little snippets that you've been meting out to the adoring public are like little truffles. Short, but oh so rich and decadent. I want to huggle them all day long. *squees* Thank you dear.
*laughs* Don't worry about it--I just checked and our public library finally has DVDs of the first four seasons, so I'll probably just snag it from there (so much cheaper than pretty much any other option). Maybe during spring break? (Which just means I have regular 9-5 hours instead of the current weird schedule.)

I've got a whole bunch more of these waiting to be typed up--I'm determined to do every single prompt from gen_drabble, and they're currently on #48. I've written up through #24, I think. Somewhere around there. But there's only one prompt a week, and I'm writing 3-5, so I'm catching up.

Oh! Nice follow-up.... I especially enjoyed the continuing fish theme (probably not deliberate? but still there) from Scratch I - John's shark smile - to Scratch II - fish-in-the-face smacked-look. I'm also enjoying the progression from antique poetry recitation to Sleeping Beauty comparisons.

And for some reason, I've got Rodney's voice in the back of my head going "You're such a Kirk" with your lines about John wooing Atlantis for three years, waking the Sleeping Beauty that is Atlantis.

Thank you so much!

*laughs* You're right! I completely missed the continuing fish--well, not theme. Thread of imagery, perhaps?

Rodney (early Rodney, especially) would definitely say something like that. :D
I liked this so much. I also got a Monty Python moment out of it, with your phrase "expression that of someone who’s been smacked in the face with a fish".

Too short, but soooo delicious.

Well done.
Leave 'em wanting more, that's what they say, right? :P I am hoping to start sharing some longer stories in the next month or so.

Glad you enjoyed it!